I always vowed that when I got into a serious relationship, I wouldn’t fall off the face of the planet. Guess what? It’s harder than it looks.
Meridith and I have both noticed that now that we’re dating seriously, it’s like we’re in our own little universe, a bubble where everything else just doesn’t seem to matter all that much. In fact, several times I’ve felt kind of oblivious to the outside world. No wonder there’s so much PDA (public displays of affection) out there.
And social needs? They’re satisfied. While I wasn’t much of a socializer to begin with, I now feel even less of a need to spend time around people who aren’t Meridith. In fact, when we’re apart, it’s all I can do to keep myself from running back into her arms. Oh, wait, I was trying to keep this post from getting mushy. Drat. ;)
You know, it’s weird looking at all of this from the inside. Suddenly so much of this couple behavior stuff actually makes some sense, which I totally didn’t expect. But it’s good. I think it’s part of the glue that keeps a couple together, and while the cocoon it forms isn’t entirely permanent (one hopes) (meaning that you eventually become more a part of the outside world again), it does help you realize that nothing matters more than the other person.
And don’t worry, we’re anti-PDA. Mostly. ;)
Comments
Yeah, I often get annoyed when my friends find significant others because they get sucked into the relationship and suddenly I’m minus one friend. Very inconsiderate. :P
One of my introverted friends said something similar though. When he got married, he didn’t feel the need to socialize anymore. Whatever he was trying to accomplish by socializing was covered now.
I think you’re right about the cocoon not being permanent. Ideally the outcome of the relationship is that you engage with the world together for the good of others, and you do it more energetically and effectively because you’re together.
“Ideally the outcome of the relationship is that you engage with the world together for the good of others, and you do it more energetically and effectively because you’re together.”
Oo, Andy, that’s a great point. :) I like that.
I stole that idea from a book. ;) But I don’t remember what it was. I’ll have to track it down.
Don’t worry about whether you are “doing it” the right way. Just live in the moment and do what you are happy doing. Perhaps one day you will decide it is enjoyable to allow others into the circle for a little while, and you should do so because it sounds like fun, not because it is what you are “supposed to do.” But if neither of you ever feel that need, then don’t worry about it. You can’t mess up if you are honest with yourselves and each other. You know what got me and my wife out of our cocoon (temporarily)? We realized that some board games (Settlers, Ticket to Ride, etc.) just aren’t as much fun with only two players.
On a side note, don’t you “hate” it when people use “quotes” and (superfluous) parentheses all over their comments? It “drives” me (absolutely) “crazy” when I “witness an (infraction “of this (type).”)”
I am so happy for you! Congrats on your transformation into a holometabolous insect :)